Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I bet he comes in French.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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