kristin has been a bad kristin
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Come on in and take your pants off
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