Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
