I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
