Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
