we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
