Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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