I want to have your abortion
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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