you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
