Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
