Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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