i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
