It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
