you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
