Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
