Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
