he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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