I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize