I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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