Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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