five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
