he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
