btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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