They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
