still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
