i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
