They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
