nutella sex= disaster
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
