Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
