and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
