The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My dick has a subreddit
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
