Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
