Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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