Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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