did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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