Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
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