the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Randomize
