a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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