i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
