SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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