that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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