just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
