Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
