OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Randomize
