I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
