I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
