just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
