His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize