worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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