I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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