Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
