Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
