i would punch a child for taco bell
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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