i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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