put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
