Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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