turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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