He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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