you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
